A Message to the Hermits
Normally I don’t feel bad for people. Or, to put it more accurately, I only feel bad because so many people can be so incredibly stupid all at once but in general I don’t feel bad for other specific reasons I could have. Today though, I feel bad for all those hermits who haven’t even come out of their houses in years (probably around 2 years to be precise) because today is a horrible day. It is the day before the release of World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade. To help alleviate the stress of the hermits on this fateful day I’ve compiled a list to help you survive grabbing your pre-ordered copy tomorrow.
- Wear multiple layers and sunglasses, this should help protect your skin from the sunlight (or moonlight for some).
- Avoiding physical contact should be easy, your rank body odor should do this for you. However, if anyone does get to close break into a coughing fit and they should back off. Also, you should have already payed for the pre-order fully up front, if you didn’t though, avoid cash which may cause hand to hand contact, go with credit/check card instead.
- If the store where you pre-ordered is having a midnight opening for the release of the game take advantage of this, not only will you be able to play sooner, but you won’t have to face the sun and the chance of third degree burns on your pasty skin.
- If at any point someone wants to talk to you, such as asking you what server you play on, you can avoid the unpleasant exchange by responding with something like: “I play on the Earth server, I can’t wait till I get home and can get back to the real world.” This should stop any further chatting with you. This tactic may also assist in your avoidance of physical contact, but use sparingly, you don’t want to saturate the crazy market.
- Driving to and from the store can be a hassle, especially if you are not there when traffic is light during a midnight release. If you can’t avoid most of the traffic you can still cause the traffic to avoid you. Remember to swerve and weave in and out of lanes a bit, not to much, just enough to cause people to think twice about getting to close because of the state of your inebriation.
I hope these tips help you out on picking up your copy. Happy (early) Burning Crusade day everyone!
January 15th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Don’t forget the most important tip of them all, while the hermits are out to get their copy of Burning Crusade, they should swing by McD’s and get a 1-month supply of food so they can survive staying at home for another month.
January 15th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I did my own post in celebration of the release the Burning Crusade… check it out
http://www.1pstart.com/video-draenei-tunak/
January 19th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
[...] Later that day, in anticipation of the Burning Crusade release I talked about how to keep yourself safe when heading out to pick up a copy. [...]